EMILY
Starting high school is a challenging time for students AND their parents. Seventeen year old Emily describes her experiences and offers some tips for the high school years.
Starting high school - fears and uncertainties
When I started high school, I will admit I was quite scared. I thought I would probably be the only person in my year (and my whole school) with cerebral palsy … I was.
I was dreading the moment the other students would see me and realise I was ‘weird’. My mum was very nervous too because this was the first time I had not had an aide with me. She cried as a kissed her goodbye and went into assembly. All through primary school I had an aide but I refused to have one in high school. I did have a helper sometimes, but only on excursions and during cooking. The rest of the day I would climb stairs and push through the crowds of students, who never seemed to get tired of pushing each other around and running through the halls at top speed.
Looking back, my main fears were that people would not accept me and that, one day, I would fall down the stairs. Lucky, neither fear became reality. I have an amazing group of friends and teachers who have supported me through so much, and not just because I have a disability, but because they truly value me as a person. That took me four years to understand. I believe that was my biggest uncertainty.
So, my advice to those starting high school would be to be cautious at first, until you know the terrain of the school and then relax into the routine. This is useful for both parents and children. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help from your peers, teachers, principal or support network, as they would already have something in place. Something will inevitably go wrong, but try to roll with the punches. My high school years were the best and worst years of my life. Everyone, not just people with a disability, would say that. The realities of high school and the overwhelming fear of the unknown are experienced by every single person. You are not alone.
Let people in
This statement took me four years and a lot of maturity and growth to accomplish. I was always scared with my friends to say what I felt, and show them the real me. I don’t know exactly why, but most kids with a disability shy away from this honesty to shield themselves. Maybe they are insecure, they don’t value themselves as much because they can’t walk or talk properly or maybe they believe their friends are kind to them out of pity. All of these I experienced, but it came from my insecurities, not from what anyone else said. At times I felt like screaming. My friends became closer and closer to each other but because I didn’t let them in to my world, we were never very close and they never really connected with me. I didn’t want to say or ask for anything, in fear of making them hate me.
This all changed during Year 10. I had had enough of feeling sad and isolated. I broke down to my year advisor about the situation, so we had a group meeting with my friends. This was one of the best days of my life because they understood where I was coming from, and I was told just to be myself, because they knew I was a great person. Since then, we have become the best of friends and we all are able to express what we feel and be ourselves. My group of friends are the most wonderful, interesting people I know and I love them all dearly.
My motto is: BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. LET PEOPLE IN.